Day Six

Today was exhilarating. At first.

We were out the door by 8:30am to head out to the workforce center in school vans. Yup, we went on a field trip. Why don't schools in Malaysia approve of field trips? Sometimes, I would've really wanted my younger siblings to have had the opportunity to study in the United States of America! The education systems here are wholesome and covers every aspect; preparing you for the mean world. On that note, let's review a bit on the cultivation theory I studied in my pre-thesis Theories and Criticism class last semester:

George Gerbner coined the Mean World Syndrome. It is is a phenomenon where the violence-related content of mass media convinces viewers that the world is more dangerous than it actually is, and prompts a desire for more protection than is warranted by any actual threat.(Wikipedia.Org)

 And sure, one can argue that a lot of it is exaggerated, however, for someone with disabilities -- like Phanuel and the like, would definitely need assistance in discerning if they're being manipulated or otherwise. So this trip was just wonderful for my class. They learned about what is expected of them, they learned that there are agencies that will teach them their rights as employees with disabilities, and that there are services available to train them in to be able to lead normal, functional lives. Without the huge need of being assisted. So this was definitely huge for them.

It was exciting to observe Tom, already picturing angles and shots at the workforce center, for the videos they would make as a class. He will definitely be heading a lot of our projects throughout this program. Luke, though less dominant than Tom, has a lot of valuable critique and comments as well. It is exciting to watch them brainstorm.

Rob was here today. Today was the first time I heard him talk SO MUCH! It started in the school van and it conitnued. He is slowly getting used to me and all the new faces in class. I'm so glad.

Day Five

Myra (PARA teacher) introduced Andi (Andrea) from PACER to the class. Myra also had them introduce each other to her. Andi began by introducing what PACER truly is and past internships in BHS were discussed. Two of the students, Tom and Cheyenne had participated in a web-design internship and then Tom started to repeat word for word what he's had to say in the phone when gathering clients for their website. It was amazing to hear him just recite stuff off the top of his head from last year! Sure it wasn't flawless - but seriously, I could never do that as well as he.

Tangent: Over the weekend, on the way home from my little break away in Brainerd, the car I was in (I carpooled) played Veggie Tales silly songs, all of which I know (or rather, used to know) by heart. I almost grew up with Veggie Tales, by the way. And singing along to the lyrics, was difficult for awhile as I tried hard to conjure up memory after memory for each song!

Returning to reality now.

Another reason why I'm so excited to hear Tom recite that, is that Phanuel (my darling little brother) has a photographic memory too. Anyway, Brenda Story, my supervisor has stepped into class to join us today. Andi began handing out the Video Toolkits to everyone.

Today,

we found out that we won't be editing our own videos, or our final product. This is quite disappointing for the students and myself as a supposed BSU video intern. I had been hearing about us not editing in our class a little earlier last week, but was hoping against hope that they would change things.

They did not.

They did, however, opened up the opportunity for me to teach some editing and to practice that on producing a blooper reel. And I guess that is better than nothing. Tom and Luke looks so disappointed - I could see it. Oh, well. This is the "reel" world, I guess. Haha.

Andi began to introduce what we will be working on. The videos made will be published on the PACER, YouTube and Vocational Rehab websites. It had to be funny yet professional.

"So appropriate funny?" a student asked, and was responded by laughter.

This class is amazing. I'm going to love my students and hate it when I have to leave. Andi wants us to brainstorm ideas for a topic for the 3rd video. (We are to produce 3). The first two topics have already been decided for us as a class. I think these themes will be interesting and helpful to these students as they step out of high school and begin a life of independence and learning to fend for their own. I just wish we could work with the videos in terms of editing too. I absolutely think my class would be able to do it!

Mary (assistant PARA teacher) is wonderful. She has noticed my quiet disappointment somewhat and has been awfully accomodating and always playing host. Reminds me of my best friend, Erik in the Hope Lodge right now. He always is very accomodating and is ALWAYS playing host. He's even told me before that he would never change when we told him to quit being so nice.

Some things you can't change.

Mary has also offered to share confidential behavioral information on each of or students, to help with my research process. What a great resource for my thesis!

Andi talked about a media consent form which is really imperative for a semi-professional video project. "I just can't believe how well this class is working with my next hour," James said, beaming. He goes for Intro to Video after this class hour. A boy after my own heart, I say.

Andi and Myra (and even Brenda) have made it a point to specifically mention that I'm the resident expert at the moment. I will have to disagree: I think Tom and Luke are already in-class experts as it is. But I truly hope the faculty here understands that is wasn't important for me to be super-recognized for what I can do. I just want to feel like I've made an impact in these kids' life to a certain degree - whether or not significant. And though I was disappointed, it was something I can live with.

I am absolutely okay with it.

Tom raised his hand and began to explain about how hard it would be to communicate their ideas  to a non-present video editor. And how the students themselves wanted in on how their videos should flow. But this is where Andi brings up the clapboard. "That way we'll be able to tell your takes apart." Poor Tom. He was not satisfied with that answer, I could tell. But he remained quiet.

Andi goes on to speak.

Again, she mentioned me being a lead-go-to-figure and an in-class expert as an attempt to alleviate my own disappointment at not being able to help the kids edit their own video footage. I hope they know that giving me flattering labels and titles are not going to help anything. I also hope they know I'm not five years old.

Smiles all round.

Day Four

T.G.I.F.
(Thank God it's Friday!)

Not because the week was getting long or anything. On the contrary! I have been so busy I haven't seen myself! I have had such eventful weekdays with about 20ish International students all crammed up in my house on Wednesday to share Malaysian and Korean food! And five of them came the following night to our campus ministry session last night. Tonight I get to go to Brainerd to spend time with a life-long hero, among other students from 15 or so campuses around Minnesota! Absolutely wonderful.

But back to work.

Today, Myra was with us, so Mary and herself had the kids present their interviews of each other in front of class. And they began to share about their disabilities one by one. A very moving moment.

They KNOW.

They know what they are lacking to fit in our "standard universe", they know they need to make extra effort to work with people of our "standard universe" and help them understand their disabilities. They know what to do when their behavioral patterns start to give warning signs.

"Just tell me to go sit down for five minutes, and I'll be good," Shana said, when it was her turn to explain her disability. "And you won't be offended if we did that right, Shana?" Myra asked her. "Nope, I won't," she replied, smiling.

Britney smiled as she said this. "People tell me to keep quiet all the time! I really talk a lot."

What a great session of getting to know these kids! I've only seen them for approximately 7 hours, throughout the span of four weekdays, and already they trust us as their instructors enough to be open with us. If only, my standard universe functioned that simply. The world would be a better place.

"Where is the love?" - Black Eyed Peas

After class, the instructors had a meeting with me and we talked about separate profiles, individually. We didn't get through everyone (there are only 6 profiles below, 3 more to go) - but we will adjourn that to a later date. Meanwhile, this is what I have.

Rob
Disability: SLD
- shorten assignments/test to help with timely completion
- provide extra time for thought processes and understanding of materials
- provide notes or assign peer partner
- check for understanding once in awhile throughout class

Cheyenne
Disability: SLD
- extended time to complete assignments/tests.
- shortened projects to help completion
- provide notes to aid with studying
- some things would need to be read out
- check for understanding once in awhile throughout class

Britney
Disability: LD
- verbal prompts, state positively, including behavior expected in response
- preferential seating to avoid distractions
- some things would need to be read out

Tom
Disability: SLD/EBD
- additional instruction and time to understand it
- need examples to help with understanding
- some things would need to be read out
- need to have him complete or make his own notes but may get a copy of mine if he asked.

Luke
Disability: SLD (Written Expression)
- extra times for assignments
- preferential seating to avoid distraction
- take tests in small settings
- restate instructions for better understanding

Shana
Disability: OHD(ADHD)
-  needs support in functional skills (reminders, cues, etc.)
- shortened assignments/tests
- needs extra time to process thoughts/instructions

Sorry about all the acronyms. Google 'em.

That's all we've talked about so far. This is all confidential. I would ask you to keep this information within this space and not divulge things unnecessarily, but I won't. This is because all their names have been changed already anyway and so you can talk all you want. If you find the urge to say something, say the kids that Phoebe gets to work with are amazing. And that they are trying so hard to operate in what we know and understand as our "standard universe". Their parallel world.

Day Three

Sorry this took awhile to post up. It was a busy day, day three. I walked in and met a Tracy who will be assisting in handling a session called, "Describing Character", where the kids learn to describe themselves, distinguish differences and appreciate uniqueness. Which of course entails....

COLORS.

The bell "beeped" and there are 8 "shiny-eyed" students in their seats in front of me. Rob is not here. I wonder what happened.

Students get color pencils to draw out a word that best describes them. Myra just came in and said Rob is not absent and that he had a reason. I should have known there's just more to these kids than meets the eye. Could a normal class teacher have understood or been patient enough?

Oh well.

Mary asked if I knew which computers we would be using for the project. I didn't - But we did talk about the MacBooks that they had at their disposal and the rumor that we won't be teaching the kids video editing afterall. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. However, we're discussing alternate ideas. Let's pray they come together.

Myra (PARA teacher) left again. So Mary (assistant PARA teacher) directed the whole class to assess themselves and start iterviewing each other as attempts to get more acquainted with each other, as the students have yet to know each other. They've come from all types of backgrounds, ethnic groups, and disability traits. What a class! I am excited.

As the kids got paired-up to interview each other, I asked if there was anything I could do to help in the session at all, as the video part hasn't started yet, and therefore, I feel a little idle, besides the occasional observing and writing of what I see and notice.

Like now.

So Mary suggested we pair up and interview each other. What a great idea, I thought. And this is what I gathered and observed about Mary:

MARY
Respectful
Scatter-brained (multi-tasker, somewhat organized, has a list but doesn't need to do them in order.)
Kind. Polite.Friendly.Accomodating
Soft Spoken
Open (to me, at least)
Enthusiastic
Good work Ethics
Positive. Encouraging. Builds on strengths.
Loves people. Outgoing.
Background in illustration & design.
Writes. Paints.
Creative
Family orientated
Animal Lover (horseback rides)
Snowmobiles. Motorcycles.
Speed-walks.
Loves to chill out. Cook. Visit.
5' 3", average build
Light-brown curly hair
Hazel Eyes
Not A Teenager! (All the kids described themselves as teenagers)
Not a pushover although seemingly calm

And she took down some notes on me as well. We presented ourselves to class alongside the students. It was an interesting time getting to know each other! Tom bought his past video productions for the class to watch if we had extra time at the end, and we did! We watched about five of them, and they were hilarious! I am officially impressed.

So that's that. Day Three.

Day Two

"I don't know how to spell my disability. But I know what it is."  

-Student [T] aka James.

Met Mary at 8:05 am. Myra came in today too.Maybe things will perk up today! Myra is a PARA teacher here at the high school, and Mary is her assistant PARA. I will be working closely with these two individuals and will teach under their guidance and close monitoring.

Myra went through behavior points this morning. It kind of works like a merit/demerit system, where should their behaviors and/or attitudes fall below expectations they will be marked down. They will have to bear with the consequences of those actions. If they are on their best behaviors the whole week, they earn a small reward. Not unlike the "reward system" often practiced in families that have kids with disabilities. Even in my family, back home in Malaysia. It works best on Phanuel. Not all of the time.

But for the most of it.

So returning from that tangent, Myra was talking about Behavioral points. And this was the list of no-no's that was spelled out vocally to the students during the talk:

- No talking while an instructor is speaking.

- No eating while class is on.

- No swearing.

- No disrespecting others.

- No surfing for inappropriate websites during times of online research.

- Demerit points "awarded' ultimately weighs heavy on a grade.

When we spoke about inappropriate surfing, we found out that Tom has a suspension of three weeks from the Internet. Youtube tutorials might be an issue for him throughout the first part of the class. It won't affect throughout the term, so again,

Nothing pressing.

We received an additional student today:

Student [D] : Danny

Add that to my roll. Hurrah! Danny has the whole bad boy 'tude going on too. I am most amused. He stepped in after an interview that decided whether or not he was eligible to participate in this class/program.

We have unveiled the camera they will be using as a class today. Mary plonked a 2 feet long (I kid you not) camera bag on the round instructor table I was sitting at, and I can hear the students in their hushed excitement. I thought the camera would be huge. A High Def one too, I was told! I lifted the bag and it was EXTREMELY light. Like there was nothing there. I remember Mary briefly saying something like I was the expert and wanted me to do the unveiling. So I did. And I saw

NOTHING. At first.

I thought there was no camera. Really. Then in the corner, was a cute little camcorder. "This is it," said Mary. So, bet you'd want camera specs - here it is:

Canon VIVIA HF11

Yes, a camcorder. This will be quite the term. It is somewhat daunting, as I think about the "shaky camera action" that we may have to work with during post production (video editing). But you know, my best friend Erik says that the shaky cam effect, the youtubish, Blair Witch ish, documentary like style is the current fad and could make the video cool. Maybe that's what I'll do. Encourage the students to not overdo but incorporate it somewhat into their creative production. I'm so excited to see what they can come up with!

As I'm thinking this, I noticed Rob. He is usually quiet, I've observed. Intense and quiet. Only speaks when he needs to. Cheyenne and Shana are superbly responsive, as I've probably mentioned yesterday. James too. Now that we're talking about him,

Cool story.

While I pored over the new camera, Myra goes on to run through an overview of Employee Behavior. It is most interesting. They will be seeing her as their employer from here on forward. Great practice for future occupations! Mary then talked about "Student Self Work Skill Assessments". They're learning to assess themselves before and after the program, to see if there will be any progress come the end of the project. Mary then instructs them to write down their disability or condition on the forms. That's when James said,

"Ms Myra, Ms Myra!"
"Yes, dear." (Myra walks to James)
"I don't know how to spell my disability. But I know what it is."

There it is. My quote of the day. When I least expected it. I nearly cried. Something I will most definitely use in my thesis. This is for certain. It was a moving moment for me. I watched as Myra spells it out to him. A-S-P-E-R-G-E-R-S Syndrome. I think I will like James very much. It helps me stay hopeful for kids struggling with autism all over the world. Especially my little brother, Phanuel.

A common misconception is that these kids with different spectrums of disabilities have no idea what's going on in the real world. On the contrary. The very fact that James said what he said, is remarkable. It's him saying, "I know what's going on with me. I just don't know how to put it in ways the world can understand me." 

Yesterday, I felt empowered to instruct.

Today, I am humbled.

What comes next, I don't know. But like my best friend is teaching me now, God hasn't promised me tomorrow yet. Let it worry about itself.

Day One

Nothing pressing.

Vocation rehabilitation talks (orientation and information sessions by a Doug). Application forms disseminated. Didn't do any teaching (or anything at all) save introduce myself to the shiny-eyed students - and during that brief two minutes, felt this intense confidence for me, coming from the student's expectant faces. I feel empowered to teach today.

Smiles all round.

Just making the effort to remember the names now. There are some new faces this semester (as compared to the information session we had sometime last year, in October '09. Remembering names and associating faces will be imperative right now. Due to policies and security precautions, names will have to be changed on this blog, seeing as this content is accessible to the public and I will do what it takes to protect these kids, whom I know I will grow to love.

Here's the roll so far:

Student [D] : Rob

Student [A] : Luke

Student [T] : James

Student [C] : Cheyenne

Student [S] : Shana

Student [F] : Tom

Student [B] : Britney

Student [L] : Asher

Britney seems to like me a lot. She says she's seen me at Rob Mahto's Bible study. Thing is, she hasn't attended the Bible study since I've met her at the high school. Cheyenne smiled at me as I was speaking in front of class today -- so i may have found myself another ally yet!

Score!

Brenda Story, my supervisor, talked for the first half of the class, just briefing them about this PACER program that they had been selected to participate in. These kids will get paid! What an incentive! So will I, alongside the credit hours I will be earning through this God-given internship.

After the class hour, I did some perspective drawings for Bonnie Higgin's class (Exhibit Design) while waiting for Ally Gunstrom (my ride) to come get me at the high school.